apt aphorisms

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

THINK — it gives you something to do while the computer is down.

I couldn’t possibly fail to disagree with you less.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Time is Nature’s way of preventing everything happening at once.

Death is Nature’s way of telling you to ease up.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If I knew what I was doing, it wouldn’t be called “research”.

~ R. P. Bergman ~

Meetings, the practical alternative to work.

When all is said and done, more is usually said than done.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you!

Success isn’t how far you got, but the distance you travelled from where you started.

It’s impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.

~ James T. Hammond ~

I don’t have an attitude problem.
You have a perception problem.

Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions?

Half the people you know are below average.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Few people blame themselves until they have exhausted all other possibilities.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

If things get any worse, I’ll have to ask you to stop helping me.

Just remember, no matter where you go, there you are.